What is going on at ABC Classic FM? I’ve noticed rumblings in the letters page of this very magazine, and various other people have asked me what is going on. I don’t really know because I haven’t been around the ABC for over a year, so I listen to it at a fond distance. CFM (let’s call it that) has always had a nervousness about it within the ABC, as if it doesn’t truly believe it should exist. For years staff have been demoralised and constantly in fear of being sacked, even though some of them lasted 40 years in the same job. A number of years ago one programmer was taken down to the bowels of the Ultimo building and told by an ABC Dalek “you are exterminated! You are exterminated!”. They went back to their office, halfway through creating the next day’s program and asked their manager what to do. The response was “just keep turning up”. Brilliant.

What does a listener want from CFM? My view is that the audience is after a warm human presence delivering some nice music. A sort of musical waiter, coming to the table with a smile. But we all know those...