Does anything demonstrate just how out of touch, socially elitist and culturally irrelevant our industry is than the asinine, yet never-ending debate around the topic of when (and more importantly, when not) to applaud?  

Sacred Cow

If some of us can be accused of fretting over first-world problems, what is the level of privilege afforded to those occupying the ivory tower of etiquette, those self-appointed gatekeepers of the faux tradition, who can deem an entire evening ruined by the ingrate that dares bring their hands together in the primal form of appreciation at the wrong moment?

Welcome to the classical music concert: an institution built on the foundation of historical misinformation and social behaviour patterns, policed by an audience that demands total chastity and submission to their rulebook.

Let’s get this out of the way to begin with: you’re not clapping in the correct place if you think we need to wait till the end of a piece. Enough historical accounts exist from the 18th century onwards to show that...